A man who smelled like beer sat down next to a priest on the subway. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. Opening his newspaper, he began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?" The priest replied, "My son, it's caused by loose living; being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes, and lack of a bath!" In response the drunk muttered, "Well, I'll be damned" and returned to his paper.
Thinking about what he had said, the priest nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry; I didn't mean to come on so strongly. How long have you had arthritis?" The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. . . I was just reading here that the Pope does."
MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer.